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Raising Baby Green:The Earth-Friendly Guide to Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Baby Care (Kindle Edition)

By Alan Greene/ Published by Jossey-Bass/ Reviewed by Brooke Benoit

Every time I have a new baby, I’m a bit of a new mum all over again. It seems like I should have at least learnt the basics after six babies, but the basics keep changing on me! The wealth of baby-related products and the methodologies are constantly being updated, while my responsibilities to my baby and to Allah (SWT) remain the same. Wait, that’s not true. My responsibilities grow as my knowledge-base grows, so while it’s great that I learned so much after having six babies, it certainly would have been nice from the start to have learned more about sustainable parenting and less about the latest parenting trends.  Raising Baby Green: The Earth-Friendly Guide to Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Baby Care by Alan Greene is not only a great place to start understanding the immense impact one little bundle of joy can have on our entire shared environment, but it had plenty of new ideas for an old green-palmed mum like me.

 

Organics

I have always strived to be conscious of whether or not I am feeding my children organics, but I hadn’t fully considered the exposure to chemicals via what I put on my babies or their beds, which they mouth and suck on more than food in some stages! As Greene explains, baby sleeps up to sixteen hours a day and are almost always clothed, but the fabrics you buy for baby have not undergone the same regulated restrictions as food – actually there is good reason new clothes and bedding are suggested to be washed before using, they are made with and tainted with many chemicals, even potentially toxic ones. While I always considered organic clothing to be too expensive and maybe even extravagant, I now have a better understanding of its efficiency and would prefer to gift friends pricey organic clothing rather than anything else – except maybe fair trade chocolates for mum.

 

Nappies (What the British call diapers)

Greene thoroughly covers issues regarding nappies, referring to current studies and for those of us, like me, who are trapped somewhere between the guilt of wishing to use cloth nappies and actually using landfill-nappies (as Greene points out they are not truly disposable since they stick around forever!), there are some alternatives available: eco-diapers, made with less toxins and more sustainability or disposable cloth liners, which can be flushed thereby making cloth diapers easier to clean and carry. With a new, less toxic detergent on hand, Green has inspired me, and we are back in the cloth!

 

Labour and Delivery

The section on eco-birthing was especially interesting to me as I have birthed in several different environments, both home and hospitals. Even though I have home-birthed four of my children, they were all in different homes. In the Labour and Delivery Room section of the book as well as the Whole Home section, Green gives plenty of areas to consider when creating a safer home environment for our babies. He also details the larger impact of hospital births, offering alternative suggestions for a “carbon neutral delivery” within both hospitals and homes.

Toys

And even though I am already completely sold on the idea, I loved Greene’s section on toys where he waxes the goodness in wood, wool, cotton, and toys made of natural materials. “Research on the health effects of many plastics is still in its early stages, but it is known that some of our children’s plastic toys contain chemicals, including lead, cadmium, and toxic softeners, that  may cause permanent damage to the brain, liver, and reproductive system” warns Greene. Being from San Francisco – the city Green highlights, where certain plastic toys are actually illegal – I have long known about the toxicity of plastics and their manufacturing, but rereading the litany of environmental and health problems caused by these products is always a good refresher. Plastics are so convenient and common, I find them constantly sneaking into my home! Natural materials can be more costly and time-consuming to care for, but what is time? And what is our rizq (income) for? Allah (SWT) allots us our time, so being green is an act of ‘ibadah (worship) and our money should not be spent on buying goods which are poisonous to both ourselves and the shared environment.


Overall I really appreciated Greene’s book. Even though I consider myself an eco-jihadist, I still found through the read that there are several areas of my life in which I could do a little more greening, and there are a good variety of ways to do it.

Further Reading:

Green Deen: What Islam Teaches about Protecting the Planet by Ibrahim Abdul-Matin

You Are Your Child’s First Teacher, Third Edition: Encouraging Your Child’s Natural Development from Birth to Age Six by Rahima Baldwin Dancy

All Our Relations: Native Struggles for Land and Life by Winona LaDuke

~~~

This book review originally appeared in the April 2013 issues of SISTERS Magazine- the magazine for fabulous Muslim women. 

 

Brooke Benoit lives in a rural village in the High Atlas Mountains where she is trying to lightly walk her own eco-talk.

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Hope this quiz will help you recognise how green you are. Or aren’t…

How Green

1. How close is the connection between Islam and the environment?
a) Global warming and stuff like that are not as important as establishing a khalifah.
b) We are each khalifahs (guardians) of the earth; as such, I try to keep my carbon footprint very light.
c) Muslims didn’t cause all these problems and shouldn’t be responsible for them.
d) The earth is Allah’s (SWT) creation and must be treated as such!

2. Your tech-gadget habits run along the lines of:
a) I throw away and replace my smart phone quarterly and my laptop annually.
b) My family helps to facilitate collecting and re-homing used mobile phones to persons in need.
c) I haven’t bought any new electronics in ages but if I did, I would be sure to first check their eco-ratings online.
d) What do you mean that “You aren’t supposed to throw dead batteries in the bin?”

3. When pausing to consider your water consumption, you closest agree with the following:
a) The water-cycle is at least as old or older than humankind and my consumption is my fair share.
b) I have to drink only bottled water. Tap water makes me gag.
c) I use my grey water to water my garden.
d) I allow myself a five litre daily allotment for all my water usage and if I run out, I make tayammum and go thirsty until the next morning.

4. Whatever you are shopping for, you are always sure to check the label for:
a) The price.
b) Whether or not the company tests its products on animals.
c) To be sure that it’s not made by a poorly rated company in your pocket-sized green shopping guide.
d) You don’t, you simply pay and be on your way.

5. What’s your drive?
a) Nearly all my transport is done by foot, though I do take the train weekly to go to an organic you-pick-it farm during the summer and I belong to a car-share program for those rare instances when I truly need one.
b) The mini-van is called “Mom’s Car”, the SUV is considered “Dad’s” and we felt a brand new car would be safest for the 16 year old, so she has a Mini Cooper.
c) Why yes, of course I drive one. Actually, I nearly live in it with all the errands I must run and all the extra-curricular activities these kids do.
d) I inherited my mom’s low petrol usage compact and have been keeping my eye on the prices of electric cars.

6. How is your energy situation?
a) I’m a little sluggish, but will be fine once I get my triple no-foam latte.
b) We just finished re-caulking and plastic-covering all the windows for winter, and when the snow melts we’ll be installing our new solar paneling.
c) I’ve been meaning to apply for home energy subsidiser program, but you know…
d) Among our many tricks for keeping our energy use down, I turn the thermostat low at night, cuddling in our family bed instead of burning that midnight oil, and we always use just one mudd of water each to make wudu with.

7. “Fair trade” is defined as:
a) An exchange made in which the buyer saves a lot of money off the ridiculously inflated retail price.
b) A purchase in which both the buyer and seller are happy about the price paid.
c) A barter made on a day with clear skies.
d) A purchase made in which the producers of the item are not undercut, but rather receive fair pay for their work and/or product.

8. “Re-use” is practised in your home by:
a) Tonight’s dinner will likely yield tomorrow’s lunch.
b) Re-use is what I try to do with everything before I repurpose it.
c) I’m not a very creative person.
d) I’ve been meaning to buy one of those plastic bag drying racks so that I can re-use produce bags, but you know…

Tally: 1. a=2, b=3, c=1, d=4. 2. a=1, b=4, c=3, d=2. 3. a=2, b=1, c=3, d=4. 4. a=2,b=3, c=4, d=1. 5. a=4, b=1, c=2, d=3. 6. a=1, b=3, c=2, d=4. 7. a=2, b=3, c=1, d=4. 8. a=3, b=4, c=1, d=2.

Results:
8–12 points: You are not-at-all an environmentalist: The grass isn’t greener on the other side, rather there is a haven of drought-resistant landscaping over there and you should get some. You would benefit greatly by reading ‘The Green Deen’ by Ibrahim Abdul-Matin and/or regularly visiting the websites of The Green Prophet and the Eco Muslim.

13–21 points: You are a ‘Greedy Greeny’: Most of your contributions to environmentalism are economic-based; you use reusable batteries and light bulbs because they save you some money, but you aren’t too impressed with toilet-paper made out of 60% post-consumer materials, and you don’t think twice about the numerous single-serving disposable packages you use daily, such as your yoghurt tub and organic smoothie cup. You can afford to be a better khalifah (who can’t?!) and so you should be.

22-30 points: The Eco-Jihadi: You are concerned about your responsibility to the environment, and do what you can to keep your carbon footprint as light as possible. Good green job!

30+ points: An Extremist: You fuel your body by only eating foods grown in your hydroponic garden, composted with your own guano. You haven’t bought a single newly manufactured item in nearly a decade and fashion your wardrobe from repurposed cast-offs from second hand shops. You only buy what can be found within walking distance of your home and have immense guilt about the carbon footprint created by your Power Mac, but find some solace knowing that your footprint has been slightly offset by reading your beloved SISTERS Magazine via a digital subscription. Hey Greeny, swerve a little back to the middle-road, you’re giving off some bad eco-dawah with your incessant shaming.

To learn more about your carbon footprint (or increase your green-speak if this quiz is all muddy for you), take the ‘Ecological Footprint Quiz’ at earthday.org

Brooke Benoit lives in a traditional mudhouse in the High Atlas Mountains where her guilty non-green pleasure is cheese puffs in a single-serving cellophane package.

Orginaly published in my current favorite issue (until the next one!) of SISTERS Magazine- the magazine for fabulous Muslim women.

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Please tell us a little about your background:
I am a wife, mother, daughter and sister. Born and raised in Nigeria but currently residing in Ireland, Clonmel (Valley of Honey) to be precise. I hold a BA in English Studies from Obafemi Awolowo University, Nigeria and worked as a community development officer with the Lagos State government in Nigeria before relocating to Ireland in 2003. I am an avid reader and a book lover. I also love to write and have recently had quite a number of my articles published in SISTERS magazine and Discover Kid’s magazine, and am currently taking a course in freelance writing.
MTR

What was the catalyst for beginning Muslim Teen Reads?
Alhamdulillah for opportunities that come our way as means to serve Allah (SWT). Muslim Teen Reads is an answered du’a. While performing Hajj in 2010, I prayed to Allah (SWT) for a means to serve and got the result when I returned. In January 2011, SISTERS magazine responded to my email to distribute their magazine in Ireland. While selling the magazines, parents and even some teens themselves would ask for materials that are Islamic but for teens and young adults. Another contributory factor is that I am working with youths in the Nigerian Muslim community and see the need to look for materials that will encourage them to expand their knowledge of Islam through fiction and non-fiction works. The search then began with the help of Allah (SWT) and support from my dear friend and Sister, Latifah Binuyo, who introduced me to lots of Islamic Fiction. I got the books and read them. I also had a mobile Islamic library where I would loan my books to people without any charge in order to promote literacy. Within a short time frame, awareness about Islamic fiction began spreading amongst friends and SISTERS magazine buyers and the idea to make it global sprang up.

I also had a mobile Islamic library where I would loan my books to people without any charge in order to promote literacy.

How does the Muslim Teen Reads Group work?
The Muslim Teen reads team is made up of adults, teens and pre-teens who are committed to bringing Islamic fiction and non-fiction to Muslim teenagers both young and old. We also celebrate our much loved and committed Muslim writers, foster reading in teenagers and most importantly use the fictional characters to motivate and encourage young Muslims to aspire to be the best they can be. To achieve these goals, we try as much as possible to make books accessible to readers through the online bookstore, and some members distribute the books in their various countries. We encourage our members to read widely and write reviews which we publish on our website, http://www.muslimteenreads.com/, where we also sell the books. The Author’s Gallery on the website introduces you to the lives of Muslim authors.

Each member of the group searches for new titles from around the world and we then read these books to ensure we are only recommending books that are safe and age appropriate to the readers; for instance, the fact that a pre-teen is good at reading does not mean that he /she should be encouraged to read books that are recommended for the teenagers. We also encourage book buyers to form local book clubs, and we walk them through on how to run them. Our Facebook page has a membership of over 30,000 fans, where we post general updates.

What do you feel the reading group has accomplished – for you individually and for the members?
I have learnt in life that knowledge comes in various ways. However, seeking out beneficial knowledge is the ultimate goal. Through this reading group, I have discovered and gained a lot of Islamic knowledge. From every reading, I gain one lesson or another to help shape my life. Along the way, I have also met wonderful people who have inspired, influenced and motivated me to push on despite all odds.

This is what some of the Muslim Teen members have to say about their experiences with the group:

“Almost everything in life is about choices…..and I have noticed that a recurring theme in most of these books is about making choices, sometimes in some seemingly simple issues and sometimes in big issues – pleasing Allah or pleasing ‘the self’. These often resonate with the young readers and they can identify with the characters in the books. For me, it is about bringing this to the fore in a non-preachy way, helping them overcome identity issues and boosting their confidence as Muslims.” Lateefah Binuyo

“They are epic, interesting, adventurous, and sometimes hilarious like The Hen in the Wardrobe. They are full of lessons – you are learning without knowing it until you reach the end of the book or encounter a similar situation.” Haneefah (7 yr old)

“Being a part of the Muslim Teen reads family has afforded me the opportunity of coming across great Muslim fiction writers/authors, whom otherwise, I might not even know of their existence. Distributing these books in the UK has also made me realise the great vacuum now being filled… Entertainment is apparently the focal point of most activities in today’s world, including reading, and seeing the relief and excitement expressed when people come across these books that combines entertainment with both Islamic and moral messages is a pointer to the great impact the Muslim Teen Reads concept is having and has the potential to achieve.” Rashidah Hassan

“As a Muslim teen reader I have become exposed to a variety of halal Islamic fiction. This has given me insights into issues that I might have been unaware of as a teenager. Living in the West means there are limited options of appropriate novels but thanks to Muslim Teen Reads, I now have access to Islamic novels.” Fatimah Haruna

“Muslim Teen Reads has been inspirational and true connector of Muslim writers and readers from all over the world. I am glad that I have been opportuned to be part of this. Currently, there are about ten Islamic schools in Nigeria that make use of Muslim Teen Reads titles.” Jaleelah Balogun-Binuyo

In Nigeria, Jaleelah and Fatimah are doing great jobs getting Islamic schools to stock and use the Islamic fiction and book titles listed by Muslim Teen Reads, and also they are encouraged to form online groups to discuss the titles they have read.

What are some your goals for the group in the coming year(s)?
Insha Allah, we hope to get e-books on the online store and also make more sales, increase traffic on the website, get the discussion forum running and also get an in-house imam to answer questions that come up for the readers and of course, this would be a confidential service.

Insha Allah, it is also in the pipeline to host webinars to educate members and the public in general the importance of knowledge-seeking through reading beneficial books. We are also working on getting the Islamic fiction titles into the National curriculum in Nigeria, insha Allah.

Books, reviews, interviews and Fawziyyah’s writings are available at http://muslimteenreads.com/. The group is available to join via http://www.facebook.com/muslimteenreads and follow their tweets via twitter @muslimteenreads.

~~~

This article originally appeared in the March 2013 issue of SISTERS Magazine.

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You’ve probably seen people wearing clothes with an explosion of rainbow colours known as “tie-dye,” but did you know that tie-dying is an ancient fabric colouring technique used by people all over the world, including Muslims in parts of Africa and Indonesia?

tie dye

Tie-dye is the art of strategically folding or randomly clumping cloth and then tying it with string or a rubber band to keep it together while dying. The string covers parts of the fabric, preventing the dye from reaching areas under it. Terrific designs are then created by adding various colours of dyes to different sections of the wet fabric.

Bright colours are typically used for tie-dying, and the fabric is usually cotton but any natural fibre can be used. You can purchase a tie-dye kit from an arts and crafts store and explore this ancient art yourself!

There are also tutorials online that demonstrate how to make cool patterns like spirals and stripes. My family had so much fun tie-dying our t-shirts that afterward we dyed socks, underclothes and even our thobes – we wanted to tie dye everything in the house! Try your hand at tie-dying and you’ll see how much fun it is to add your own splash of colour to your clothes.

Did you know…

• The oldest remaining examples of tie-dye come from Peru and date from 500 to 810 AD. Their designs have small circles and lines, with lively colours including blue, green, red and yellow, made from plant materials.

• Tie-dye methods have also been used for hundreds of years by the Hausa people of West

Africa, in the famous indigo dye pits around Kano, Nigeria.

• Shibori is a type of tie-dye from Indonesia and Japan that dyes the clothes by binding,

stitching, folding, twisting, etc.

• Tritik is an African form of using stitches to tighten the cloth before dying.

The result is usually quite bold.

• Hausa techniques dye the cloth and then heavily embroider it in traditional patterns. It is said that the hippie fashion was inspired by the Hausa techniques

• Mudmee tie-dye is mostly from Thailand and parts of Laos. Black is its base colour,

and it uses different colours and shapes than regular tie dye.

By (Budding young writer, insha Allah) Badier G Benoit-Elkaoui and originally appeared in Issue 4 of Discover Magazine- the magazine for curious Muslim kids

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There are a bunch of great articles in the latest issue of SISTERS Magazine celebrating and exploring issues around “colour,” such as multicultural families, bilingualism, yummy food (of course) and these two thoughtful articles about racism:

Two curly haired girls on a swing via SISTERS Magazine

Making a Pilgrimage for LifeMargari Aziza Hill illustrates how a much warned about blight continues to colour injustices among the Ummah.

“Like many converts, I was drawn to Islam’s egalitarian message. Through Muslim student groups on college campuses and community life in various masajid, I developed close friendships with Muslim women from all parts of the world. We were brought together by our mutual love for Allah (SWT) and His Messenger (SAW). The bonds that I developed with some of them gave me a sense of real belonging and acceptance that I had not felt with my highschool friends and even member of my own family. But there were also times when those cross cultural encounters brought to light some unsettling realities of racism and colourism. By addressing our shortcomings, we can meet the challenge and create communities that are more closely aligned with the example set by our Prophet Muhammad (SAW)….” read the rest here.

And…

Colours From Ancient Babylon – While many Muslims may insist there is no racism in Islam, Hafsah Zamir illustrates that our actions speak otherwise.

“Whilst today’s modern age defends the desire for fair skin as a personal preference, it is important to understand that colourism (or hueism) – the differential treatment of people according to skin colour both racially and interracially – is inextricably linked to racial discrimination, colonial power and the concept of white privilege. Those familiar with at least recent colonial history will be aware that fair skin has never been just a personal preference of colour, but has in fact been considered a commodity, a tool of power and ultimately a symbol of social status that trumpets power and success. As such, the absence of this commodity signifies failure and disempowerment.

Throughout history, women have been treated as commodities by their male counterparts, to be sold, bought and possessed for their bodies. So what greater symbol of social status is there, asks the post-colonial world, than the possession of a fair skinned woman? For a woman to accept this desire for whiteness is, in effect, to unconsciously internalise her own commodification, to enslave her self to kyriarchal powers….” read the rest here

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Brooke Benoit returns to her long running series about gracelessly adjusting to living in Morocco – this time in a rural village in the High Atlas mountains.

Boy atop a mountain from SISTERS Magazine Dec 2012 issue

Day 46
The landlord brought the water bill over to the husband today and hubby says that the guy was “very shocked” by our excessive water usage. I was so upset by this. It has truly been amazing to see firsthand just how much water we use in our household. For the first few weeks up here, without the water heater, we had to heat water by the potfulls every time we needed it for washing dishes, clothes and bodies. This gave us an opportunity to really see exactly how much water we are using- and wasting! Though we tried to be creative, there was very little we could do with rinse/grey water other than dump it. If I ever a garden again, insha Allah, I want to have a little tank under the kitchen sink (maybe the bathroom too) to catch rinse water for reusing in the garden.

I think that where we have failed up here is in our clothes washing. Even though I have completely reassessed my idea of what exactly are “dirty clothes,” we still used a lot – apparently more than anyone ever in the 4,000 year history of the village – of water to wash our clothes. I mostly blame the teenager who would try to hose off his clothes to a near state of clean with the shower head. We are all hoping to get a washer machine in the next few weeks, as the kids have been helping with the laundry and the husband has been doing a lot of it. I know machines use less water than handwashing, but since nearly all the other women in the village wash in the river, I’m afraid my landlord may be only slightly less freaked-out next billing cycle.

Day 60
One of my worst I’m-a-monster-city-slicker nightmares came true today. I was left with the task of burning the trash while hubby is back in the city. Though several of my neighbours burn trash right in front of their homes, we were told to do our burning far from houses, which after having toxic burning trash stench fill my home in Casablanca – I can appreciate that suggestion. I had to get the kids to haul the trash up the mountain, then buy petrol from the little hanout during one of the small windows when he is open and rush up the mountain to build my bonfire while the baby is sleeping or otherwise happily preoccupied. I looked out the window to check the kids’ progress and had a good, hearty laugh seeing my 10 year old son carrying bulging plastic bags up the hill while wearing pink kitchen gloves, which is actually a habit their father instilled in the kids for when they do the dishes, but sure – blame the bourgeois-kid-making on the mother. So, they got the trash out and I called to my eldest to run out and get the petrol as the guy was open – and then he suddenly closed, then he opened a few minutes later and seemed to not have petrol or any idea what son was saying and he closed again. Great. Now cats and wild dogs would surely find some smell of interest to warrant tearing through my trash and spreading it across the mostly pristine valley, which is what I am really worried about and why I wanted to do this in one fell swoop. But I couldn’t have foreseen what our nine year old neighbour was about to do… Ignoring the pleas of my son, the boy tore into every single one of our tightly tied up dozen or so small plastic bags and sifted through the entire contents of each, spreading the trash all over the burn site.
The horror! Quickly I realised there wasn’t anything overly embarrassing in there other than a few too many cellophane treat wrappers. But why would he do this?! My son suspects that he was scavenging for something valuable or reusable as many of the local kids make innovative toys with scraps and trash remnants. I was oddly proud to hear that he found nothing of value or interest among our trash – this means we are doing well to reuse everything reusable.

And I’m realising – once again – that while I work myself into a frenzy worrying about things – I really have no control. Now I have to ‘jab‘ up and go figure out where the husband bought that petrol from and pull my evil disposable nappies out of the thorn bushes.

Day 65
When we first attempted to move to Morocco a decade ago, I very much wanted to simply recreate my US lifestyle in the North African Mediterranean. In Casablanca that was easy enough to do. The few things I missed from the US were mostly food items, and with a little extra work I could I whip up nearly any of those dishes in my Casa kitchen. Before we moved out here to the sticks, I noticed myself doing that same thing again, I was hoarding up every possible thing that I was worried that I would want or need – new shoes, craft supplies, kitchen wares, hair accessories, specialty foods and homeopathic remedies – all these things that are not immediately available on the mountain, but surely my husband or someone could drag them in if we really, really needed them. As I was wondering around another Casa niche shopping district trying to remember what wasn’t on my list, (as there is always something else needed isn’t there?) I finally became aware of my behaviour, immediately stopped shopping and went home. I decided to “just make do” – to truly let go of stuff and just bring in what I could, not worrying about the rest – it would come if we truly needed it.

I began to hope that moving out here to the sticks would help me reevaluate some of my not-so-good dunya habits, such as my materialism as well as my eco practices. If my neighbour can make do without so much that I think is necessary, maybe I could rethink my needs. Maybe we cut our lifestyle down by force, since there really isn’t that much retail and entertainment-for-purchase to do out here, and then slowly we could decide where and if we want to build our… spending, really – it’s mostly about spending and now I have a chance to really see what it is that I value and to prioritise that.

Day 73
Two months in and The Eldest child is finally trying out this hiking bit. Yesterday we all went for a walk and he decided to climb up the foothills and check out a cave. We could barely see the dot of his red T-shirt as he neared the cave and then seemed to quickly descend back towards us. Turns out it’s some old man’s house! There were a few sheep on the ‘roof’ of it and a low rock building to the side. The old man was headed further up the hill to where a few other animals were. Of course now we are totally obsessed with why and how this man lives up there. Is he that poor or does he chooses to live in a cave? Where is his family and what happened that he is now living like that?

A general curiosity in hiking and discovery seems to have been piqued and The Eldest jaunted off after Fajr this morning with a pack full of snacks and the camera. I fully admit to being mildly jealous at my not being able to just go climb a mountain whenever I want, but then again – it’s no longer about me, at least not entirely.

Day 74
That old man on the mountain- found out that’s a shepherd’s daytime rest stop – not his home! This is exactly why I didn’t want to come for just a week or even a month. I want for my children (and myself) to have ample opportunity to really explore Allah’s I creation – to “get to know” each other and lots of goodness in between. As we watch tourists hike through town, (and I read their often cringeworthy blog and travel accounts) I become more aware of how travelling through can mostly just reinforce predisposed ideas. I imagine the story that we could have been spun about that mean old man, rejected by his family and left to fend for himself on the hillside. I’m becoming more aware of mine and our biases around class, gender and race, and I’m feeling that the local pace, which we are still acclimating to, is much more accommodating to explore and rectify these biases – insha Allah. And what a bonus that the backdrop for our “studies” is so magnificent.

Day 89
Hubby keeps asking me if I want to go back to the city, as if I will suddenly change my mind. Things are getting easier and my self-doubts are waning. As he was walking out the door for Thur, he asked for the second or third time today if I am “ready to go back” and then added that the landlord wants us to sign a contract if we plan to stay for a full year. Apparently the homeowner usually stores apples in this house during the winter and wants to be sure he isn’t displacing his harvest for nothing. “Sign it!” I called out to the husband. I am committed. And although I have said that I don’t want to think past one year, today I did walk over to see a little farm that is for sale. Just a little walk, just a little farm, just a little thought.

~~~

Living in the High Atlas mountains with her husband and six home-educated children, Brooke Benoit is (mostly) savouring living in a community where hands-on and doing from scratch are the norm.

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Mountains in the distance with a sprinkling of trees and shrubbery in front in a valley, from SISTERS Magazine’s November ’12 issue.

Day 2: While I was in a fairly frantic speed-settling mode, first thing this morning The Kids (#1- #5) burst out of the house with their homemade arsenal of wooden weaponry and introduced themselves to the neighbourhood. Though I was happy to get them out of my way, I really didn’t feel this was the most effective approach to meeting the neighbours, you know, sharing cookies maybe… but it actually went really well, which just reinforces how little I understand the male species. They were happy, their new friends were happy; the injuries were few and superficial, and still, I got next to nothing done. Perhaps this is because I have a continually nursing one month old and unrealistic expectations.

A small circle of men had gathered round and were discussing a pressing problem in the village – our children.

This is one of the many things I am hoping our move up here into the mountains will do for me. I am hoping that I will learn to let go, to “hand it over to Allah (SWT)” as they say. Though I certainly don’t consider myself a “control freak,” I am open to the possibility that I could be wrong. I know that I do too much, but I don’t know what else to do – or not do! The problem can’t be prioritising as there is nothing on my list that I can give up: I cannot give up nursing Asiya – it is her right and was extended to all of her siblings, so that would just be too wrong for me to do. I do truly feel that nursing her is a blessing and our relationship is symbiotic. I don’t interrupt her feedings for anything, and I also don’t walk around while feeding her (I am lacking in grace and coordination) so at least breastfeeding forces me to SIT. I also cannot give up on working, and even though I sometimes fantasise about giving up homeschooling, the kids won’t let me at this point, as they say “We won’t get on the yellow bus!” Obviously I cannot give up the bare essentials: praying – I already don’t feel that I do enough acts of ‘ibadah and should be adding in this area; eating – I am perfectly content to eat simple foods, but the family has been really spoiled by my SIL and trying to one-up each other in the kitchen the last couple of years. I’m sure eating gruel three times a day isn’t going to be an easy adjustment for the husband and kids to make (though I will serve it up); and sleeping – even though for decades I have tried to reduce my sleep time, Alhamdulillah my body won’t deny me that right. And there is so much more I want to do, like hiking in these beautiful mountains, and everyone else manages somehow. So ultimately I lean towards thinking that my problem is about time management, though I have an inkling that it is worse than that – it’s a problem with my belief. I believe that I can do it all and just haven’t found a way yet, but I may be wrong there. Allah (SWT) may just show me what I have to let go of – I hope!

Day 7: Zaynab, the nearly six years old, has quickly assimilated the local schedule. She knows exactly when the bread starts to be baked in the outdoor ovens and makes the rounds looking for scraps. “Please don’t let your children go around begging for food,” the Husband whined. Of course I assumed the ladies just gave it to her because she’s so cute, masha Allah, but upon questioning it turns out she demands it. In her limited Tshilhit, Zaynab goes around saying “Give me bread.” Lovely, she’s not a beggar, she’s a forty pound bully. And today I saw her coaching the three year old on how it’s done.
Day 9: Husband went back to Casablanca after Fajr this morning and I just want to bawl about it, but I am really too tired and dehydrated to shed a tear. There is just so, so much not the way I want it. I have no idea how to refill the prepaid electricity card and no idea how long it will last, and neither does the landlord or anyone else because who knows how excessive we Americans will be in our use? And I don’t even know where he lives or how to use the phone to call him or anyone else! I forgot to ask husband to explain how this phone works as it has a passcode and uff!

My biggest concern is the kids. Salams, my name Brooke is and I am a permissive parent. And if I don’t get a hold on things fast we are all going to really suffer. They are completely out of the habit of doing any chores as the extended family did everything for them. And even though I insisted to the husband that “I can do this with or without you,” since he needs to take care of things in the city too, truth is, it’s less than ideal to be out here all alone (but I know that I am not alone, I just have to remember that). Many of the women around me have husbands and other relatives who emigrate to Morocco’s cities and beyond for work, but they also have extended family to help with everything from chores to dealing with the kids, and I just moved away from that help. I am having plenty of doubts, but then I just look around me at the incredible beauty of this valley and the amazing opportunities to learn hands-on so much about nature and life… I’m continuing to make a lot of du’a and begging for guidance.

Day 15: I am exhausted. Snoring and drooling into my pillow exhausted. The domestic workload around here is just too much. I said I could do it without a fridge and a washing machine, as it was too much of commitment to drag them up here in case we didn’t like it and did only stay a month, and I am doing it – but exhaustedly. Yesterday, I finally “let something go” and got out of the house for the first time in nearly a week! I went for a walk in the orchards and fields with my friend who lives in the valley and came into the village for Jumu’ah. She was shocked to hear that I am handwashing nappies – every other day! But how could I not?! How could I distribute my toxic disposable nappies into these (nearly) pristine hills? And just as I was asking her that, we serendipitously passed by a plastic nappy caught up in a blackberry bush. And then we came upon a few more along with other non-biodegradable debris caught in the branches above the river. These signs did not encourage me to quit, but less than 12 hours after my friend insisted that “all the locals use disposables” (as evidenced by them hanging about!) I sent one of the kids to the hanoot to get me some. I am weak. And tired. And plotting how to get a washing machine, insha Allah.

Day 19: Husband is back less than a day and walked into one of his worst possible nightmares this afternoon. Turning to leave the mosque after Dhuhr prayer, a man pointed at him and called out “There’s the father!” A small circle of men had gathered round and were discussing a pressing problem in the village – our children. Seems they had a blast in the communal irrigation canal – the Splash Mountain meets Children’s Museum Water Table kind of fun. They ran through it and filled it with rocks and opened all the gates to let the water rush out into the fields. Yeah. It never occurred to anyone of them this may be bad, even when they vaguely understood the village children’s admonitions that “the water is bad for the plants.” How could water be bad for plants my smart children insisted? I have read that home-schooled children can occasionally be a little too self-confident.

The community was very understanding, and explained to my husband that the kids were welcome to play in the water as the other children do, just not to interrupt the flow in any way, such as blocking it with small boulders or bodies and not to open the gates. What a great teachable moment about the sunnah of shura, the history of aquaducts, the importance of being humble – after my husband recovered from his mortification, of course.

Day 21: Camp is over! The Husband has installed a gas water heater and has therefore redeemed himself of every wrong he has even considered committing towards me. Even though it vacillated between scalding and freezing, it was still the best shower I have ever taken. I had to seriously resist making cooing Mr. Bean like noises while I was in there. Instant hot water is such a luxurious blessing, Alhamdulillah.

Living in the High Atlas mountains with her husband and six home-educated children, Brooke Benoit is (mostly) savouring living in a community where hands-on and doing from scratch are the norm.

This article originally appeared in the November ’12 issue of SISTERS Magazine- the magazine for fabulous Muslim Women.

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Brooke Benoit finds that the hurdles facing Muslims with disabilities must be removed one at a time by the people like herself who put them there.

Wheelchair sitting in a meadow.

It’s been great fun for me while living in Casablanca to take advantage of the use of the abundance of mosques all over town. I would often spy a minaret peeking out from between skyscrapers and apartment buildings, and then chase it down for another discovery. It’s an adventure to see the inside of a mosque for the first time: will it be one of the more spectacular mosques or not? Will it have a woman’s area and wudhu facilities? And though I can almost always expect the women’s section to be upstairs – will it be up one, two or even three flights of stairs? No matter how many steps I must climb, nearly every time I enter any mosque in the city, I come across an elderly auntie either slowly making her ascent to the sacred space or resting and recomposing herself just at the top of the threshold. Indeed the mosque is a refuge for many women- young and old- who I find praying, eating or just relaxing on the enormous rugs or fluffy sheep skins.

Attitudes of Muslims toward persons with disabilities are the greatest barrier that Muslims with disabilities encounter at Muslim gatherings and places of worship.

I’ve often wondered about these elderly aunties. Likely they have spent a great portion of their lives in service to their families – to their husbands, their children, their parents and maybe their in-laws and siblings and even more. Finally, they are having their time to rest, reflect and worship abundantly, but first they must make that difficult, possibly painful, and maybe even hazardous climb into the mosque. And then one day it dawned on me: how many more women and men and even children cannot overcome the physical barriers we have set in place in our mosques? And if that’s the way we think- designing and supporting unattainable places of worship – then what about all the  invisible cultural and mental barriers we have set in place that exclude innumerable members of the ummah from various spaces intended for worship and attaining knowledge?

“Islam for everyone and at all times,” is a maxim we regularly hear, but unfortunately the majority of Muslims are not making Islam readily accessible to all Muslims. The Canadian Association of Muslims with Disabilities (CAMD) undertook an extensive survey of Muslims with disabilities in Canada to better understand the ways in which they were being denied access to their deen and health. CAMD found that “within the Muslim community, Muslims with disabilities remain isolated and families caring for people with severe disabilities receive no support by the religious community. Muslims with disabilities are also excluded from learning and engaging in spiritual and social activities.”

The physical barriers faced by Muslims with disabilities in the mosques and other community spaces are fairly obvious: most mosques do not meet the criteria for disability access even in places such as Canada and the US where laws are in place to ensure rights to access. There are also no educational services readily available for Muslims with hearing disabilities and no texts are available for those with vision disabilities. Behind these physical barriers are the individual attitudes, cultural limitations, and excessive ignorance that keep Muslims with disabilities (and Others) from accessing their deen among members of the ummah. CAMD stresses that “attitudes of Muslims toward persons with disabilities are the greatest barrier that Muslims with disabilities encounter at Muslim gatherings and places of worship.”

Among those surveyed by CAMD was a deaf Muslim brother who stated that his only option to learn about Islam was “to be the first one in the mosque and sit right in front of the Imam and struggle to read his lips during the khutba.” And what about the sisters in similar scenarios? Obviously, in the vast majority of mosques, a sister could not simply “sit right in front of the Imam” trying to catch even a glimmer of her deen. Bariah, the writer behind Strandedmom.com, is the mother of a child with an intellectual disability and finds that rigid thinking about issues in the mosque, such as gender-based rules and behaviours expected of children are among the hindrances that keep families from being active in their Muslim communities:

“What makes autism unique is that it does not manifest in any physical form. Often on the outside the child looks perfect and healthy and their behaviour makes no sense to other people.The mercy often extended to those with obvious physical disabilities is not always extended to children with autism and their families. Or they may be regarded as mentally deficient and no one has any expectations from them. I think with increased awareness and education this will change…. many solutions would imply that there are different rules for different people. Many times the caregivers are female and if the intellectually disabled person is a male, it poses a problem when the child goes beyond a certain age. I feel society in general needs to come to terms with the fact that there have to be different rules for different people, and people caring for those with disabilities should also understand not to abuse those rules.”

Many Muslims in Western countries wrongfully expect that Muslims with disabilities have their physical and well-being needs met by government social services. Logically, we must understand that, while non-Muslim service providers can attempt to meet the physical needs of Muslims with disabilities, because the deen is a complete way of life, it is difficult for non-Muslim service providers to anticipate and understand the needs of their Muslim clientele. Consider, for example, if a Muslimah prefers a female transportation provider, but one is not available, does the sister compromise her health and needs or her religious leanings? Not only does CAMD assert, “that mainstream services do not respond adequately to their individual religious needs as Muslims,” but CAMD founder Rabia S. Khedr explains that a crisis is currently unfolding as we are seeing an increase of Muslims with disabilities, yet a stagnation in Muslim service providers. As Muslim parents of children with disabilities age, they have profound concerns about the physical and spiritual well-being of their aging children. Why do we Muslims expect for these members of the ummah to be cared for by non-Muslims?

As Bariah pointed out, “When parents are too old to care for their loved one, they have no choice but to seek refuge in residential care which do not cater to Islamic needs. Many adult males and females reside together and I feel that we, as a community, have to answer for the state of the vulnerable among us.” Among CAMD’s recommendations for creating inclusion for all members of the ummah is development of partnerships with mainstream services as well as that “Muslim youth need to become aware of and encouraged to pursue careers in the social services sector including ASL Interpretation, Deaf-Blind Intervention, Attendant Care and Developmental Services.”

Zenab Shah, founder of the Disabled Muslims Network, is very happy to know that currently her nephew, who has a speech and language delay bordering on autism, is able to attend a madressa  because of having been given a key worker that sits with him throughout the whole session, and has materials appropriate to help him with madressa and understanding. This is a great improvement over her own experience which is still far more common than her nephew’s circumstance: “When I was 8 years old, [the madressa] decided it was too difficult to teach me. So I was basically asked to leave, as my needs were so great that they were not happy to keep me there. Events like these keep disabled Muslim children back, as they are not able to learn to read the Qur’an, or prayers, or religion, in the way that other children would be, as not all parents are able to teach their children at home, as everyone’s situation varies.” Rabia had similar experiences around accessing the deen through the mosque and madressas: “Growing-up, [my developmentally disabled two brothers and I] did not have much access to learning about Islam except through some luck mixed in with madressa programs. My family was overall isolated from the community because of my brothers’ needs. My parents used to take us to the mosque when we were young. My brothers’ made involuntary noises and the sheikh one day commented generally that women who could not manage their kids should remain at home. My mother decided never to go back there.”

Like other Muslims with disabilities, Zenab has found instances of acceptance and inclusion to be just that – isolated and rare instances. While a few Muslim communities have worked towards creating true Islamic inclusion for all Muslims, the ummah as a whole seems to remains ignorant about and unmoved by the needs of its various members.

Just as we are directed to, at a minimum, hate injustice in our heart, then with our tongue and ultimately to fight injustice by our own hands, there are a multitude of ways that each of us can work towards creating inclusive spaces for all Muslims, either within mosques and communities or from sister to sister (and brothers and aunties and uncles). When Allah (SWT) has directed us to remove hindrances in the road, how can we tolerate physical hindrances in our sacred spaces? While insisting that your mosque meet the minimal standards for Muslim with disabilities is a lofty goal, each of us must confront our own attitudes and culture baggage to create spaces that are truly welcoming. When we implement the basic directives of Islam, then we become that ummah that truly welcomes all people at all times. For instance, before judging the parent with an unruly or unusual-acting child, run down a litany of 70 excuses for the child and care provider. But do not accept excuses from your community as to why they exclude rightful members of the ummah.

The CAMD website www.camd.ca is an invaluable resource for learning how we as individuals and communities can “create a global village that includes full access for persons with disabilities.” Please also visit http://www.disabledmuslimsnetwork.com/ and http://www.strandedmom.com/ to learn more about how to live the maxim of making Islam for all people at all times.

~~~

This article originally appeared in the October 2012 issue of SISTERS Magazine (the magazine for fabulous Muslim women). 

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Before we moved to Casablanca, I anticipated that I would be a full-time home-educating mom once we got here. This would be the first time in forever that I hadn’t worked some job either at home or out of it, either as my family’s primary income or as a supplemental income. Actually, when we had lived in Casa seven years prior- that was the last time I hadn’t worked, and this time I was determined to “dedicate all my time to my kids.” I imagined that I would do some writing when the creative drive presented itself and maybe do a little tutoring too in order to build up a resume. Thank God it didn’t happen at all like that.

Soon after arriving in Casa I was invited to write for SISTERS Magazine. This was a very exciting surprise for me, but also left me feeling conflicted. Not only was I worried about busying myself and therefore neglecting my kids, I would also be writing about us and well- could I do that in a tactful, non-backbiting and still interesting way? I thought long and hard and prayed istikarah and you see what happened.

I should have known better on several fronts. I’ve expatted before so I know it doesn’t work out as planned. And aside from that, I have read about a kuzillion home-educating, parenting and pedagogy materials in the last decade and I know that nurturing oneself is critical to being a well-rounded parent, yet I was still falling for the Mommy Martyr bit. Again, thank God, I was pulled out of it!

In addition to being my little outlet, writing for SISTERS was an opportunity for me to demonstrate to my kids how to produce. I’m raising up a gang of prolific readers, which although some find it hard to “produce” readers, well my concern is more with producing producers- whether they be writers, artists, inventors- whatever their inclination may be, my concern has been with helping my kids to find that drive, that confidence, that whatever which will encourage them to contribute. I had hoped that by writing for a magazine it would create a sort of blasé base in my kids- if mom can do that, what can I do?

Well, they can do that too. I am pretty ridiculously excited to direct you to the newly launched Discover- The magazine for curious Muslim kids and my eldest son’s writing debut:

Discover is being printed this week, please check the facebook page to find out where you can get it: https://www.facebook.com/DiscoverMagazineKids

Read! And contribute!

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Brooke Benoit returns to her long running series about gracelessly adjusting to living in Morocco- this time in the bled.

Many people (read my mom and two of my dearest friends) have asked me to update my series about moving with my husband and five children (now six) from Alaska, USA to Casablanca, Morocco.  I’ve been uneager to write since the time in Casablanca was full of hardship for my family as we experienced many of the discomforts familiar to muhajiroon: unfulfilled expectations, too-close quarters, financial strains, new cultural clashes between spouses, culture clashes between three generations of family, and just a whole lot of general discomfort. Let’s not dwell, again, on the heat, the pollution, the unIslamic behaviour, and the bedbugs! But finally I have good news, some relief and a little inspiration to share: we have given up big city living and have moved to a rural village in the High Atlas mountains.

Nearly 2 years in: We are fast coming up to our two year anniversary here in Casablanca and facing my incessant demand of “What next?” I begrudgingly agreed to live in an apartment with too many people that is much-too-small-for-mosts’ comfort for two years – a seemingly infinite amount of time – and though it has crept by quickly enough, I am still very, very ready to move on and out. These last few months, I have really felt the strain of nearly every movement I make being restricted by my worrying about how will it affect someone else. I mean every movement. And while I am uber eager to know what the next move is for us, the husband doesn’t have any idea or tangible options, so I am scurrying around looking for possibilities of what to do with ourselves. I am willing to move either the entire family or just the portion I birthed, but we must move some bodies very, very soon!

A friend of mine has been suggesting for a few years that I go live near her, out in the deep, deep bled (countryside) which she loves so much. While I have been skeptical about what I would do there and how I would manage such a different lifestyle, the idea has really grown on me. Access to nature has been so depressingly lacking in our home-educating experience here in Casablanca and this would surely be remedied by living in a mudhouse in the mountains. Or maybe it’s the only option I can really see happening at this time. Either way, I am pestering the husband to “go get a place there” and not thinking too much about the harrowing logistics of dragging my kids and furnishings up a narrow, windy road into the Atlases. And while I am excruciatingly nervous about actually doing this move, recently I remembered how, when I was a teen, I would frequently drive up the coast of northern California with my mother or friends and dreamed of someday living in a small, rural, artsy community in the woods. Was that dream so far off from what I am anticipating now? Several people have told me that they “would love to do that!” But what is that? Some people want to do the whole live-off-the-earth/back-to-the-land thing, while others want to stockpile for a vacation or a retirement in the relaxing countryside. I can’t and don’t want to do either. While my husband often says that his “hands are tied,” I feel that my hands have been turned.

Access to nature has been so depressingly lacking in our home-educating experience here in Casablanca and this would surely be remedied by living in a mudhouse in the mountains.

~~~

Day 1: I cannot believe the van the husband rented to get us here. It’s rented with a driver- actually three drivers which is problematic considering our family alone is over maximum capacity, plus we have a few tons of stuff and the van is miniscule! The whole while the kids were dragging their stuff downstairs to be loaded into the van, Husband kept saying “Is there more?! Is there more?! It won’t all fit!” Yeah, it didn’t. Ok, I fully admit that while he has agreed to one month with the possibility of two or three more, I have packed for one year, but still. He knew the size of the vehicle he was renting and he knew I was adamant about getting all of the bikes in good working order before we left, so why didn’t he understand that they were supposed to go with us? Alhumdulillah, the bikes, the dozen baby chicks eldest son just bought specifically to take with us and the children’s playstands were the only things left behind. Oh, and of course the box with my books didn’t make it and we brought the power cord but not my laptop! We did bring the other laptop though, so alhumdulillah. Somehow Husband managed to bump off one of the drivers too, so just the two drivers traded off during the several hour drive which we did overnight and I got a little extra leg room while husband squeezed himself up front.

Apparently, these journeys regularly happen by leaving Casablanca at one in the morning to avoid the baking midday heat in the mountains. Sure we missed the scenic drive, but I am so thankful to do it this way as otherwise I would have been horribly carsick and almost completely useless to care for the kids other than being handed the baby to breastfeed. I took motion sickness pills – both over the counter and homeopathic – and slept through most of it along with everyone else, except the incredibly chatty drivers. At about seven in the morning we arrived in the little town that was three-hours from our destination and had a quick breakfast and bathroom breaks before the hardest leg of the journey- the slim (but paved) roads that wind through the Atlas valley, the loveliest bit of the ride I’m sure, but I took more drugs and passed out again. The half hour or so that I was awake to nurse the baby was a sickening enough blur of cameo colours outside the thankfully curtained windows to make me not want to do the drive again for at least a year. We stopped at a little trickle of a waterfall, but I didn’t trust my legs enough to stand and see it. Instead I sat at the side opening of the van staring off to the other side of the valley at a simple lone house nearly blending into the dirt from which it was made. I thought to myself, ‘Why do they chose to live this way?’ then had the sudden realisation: ‘Oh God, why did I choose this?!’

A half dozen ridiculously friendly kids of varying ages met us upon our arrival in the village and helped dragged our dozens and dozens of pieces of luggage and odds and ends into our truly lovely mud and thatched-roof rental house. I was absolutely paranoid about leaving anything of need or value tucked somewhere into a fold or crook of the van, but was too dizzy to do much more than make a silent du’a and bark something incoherent to the husband. Feeling like a stinky disheveled mess, I just wanted to scurry into the nearest room to hide from any and all potential helpers or visitors, but none of the rooms had doors! None of them. Not even the bathroom or the shower. And the bathroom is… a traditional… very common around the world… even luxurious to many people… hole in the ground. With a little porcelain foot base thingy, of course, but not what we (me and the kids) had hoped for. ‘Hope’ being all we could cling to since Husband would not answer any questions about the bathroom, which he had seen when he procured the place a week ago and now we know why he had kept mum. But really- no door?!?! When the homeowner said it was “unfinished”… no bathroom door?!?! And when he said he would finish it before we got there, he didn’t mean to install a bathroom door?!?! And then I remembered that we forgot the water heater, also not provided with the rental…

~~~

Living in the High Atlas mountains with her husband and six home-educated children, Brooke Benoit is (mostly) savouring living in a community where hands-on and doing from scratch are the norm.

  This article originally appeared in the October 2012 of SISTERS Magazine.

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